Duckburg Gazette

MEMORIAL DAY EDITION

Is it time for the BBQ's or just being thankful why we have a day off?  Really, it is neither.  The day should be a time of reflection for the freedom we have and give thanks for those who sacrificed to give us that.  Unfortunately they only get a day out of the entire year, it should be more or more often.  It shouldn't just be a day either to remember but to say "Thanks" as well.

Weekly Update:

So I thought it was going to be a semi-busy week but it turned out to be pretty mellow ... not bad at all.  I was thinking the other day when I was outside in the backyard picking up dog poop ... how we train dogs OR are they really training us??  We show them how to sit, lay down, shake hands, stay ... but then we are the ones who feed them at certain times, walk them, pick up their poop ... who has who trained?  Makes you wonder how smart these dogs are.  They have us in a mind control!  When they bark, we let them out to do their business.  When they whine, we wonder what they want but all they want is us to pay attention to them which we do wondering what they want ... its a vicious circle.

At the movies:

A new king at the box office this holiday weekend but it was no surprise.  New at #1 is the 3rd installment of the comic-book based action-comedy of MIB 3 or "Men in Black 3" earns a nice 55 million for the weekend (not including the Monday holiday) for it's debut.  Slight drop down to #2 is "Marvel's The Avengers" which earns an extra 37 mil as it passes the 500 mil cume mark for domestic box office.  Sinking down to #3 is "Battleship" with 10.8 mil more.  Slight drop to #4 is "The Dictator" earning an extra 9.6 mil for this off-the-wall comedy.  Rounding off the top 5 is the horror film Chernobyl Diaries with a debut of only 8 mil as no one is opening this book.

Quote of the week:

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another." - James M. Barrie

Other News:

This is both a funny and useful information list I happened to stumbled across ... Top 10 Hilarious Scam Products!  Let's take a look ... 10) Premium Bottled Water - They aren't referring to regular bottled but the big names that offer a gourmet experience in your water and price them about $40 a bottle!  9) Canned Oxygen - This was made fun at in the film "Spaceballs" but they do have Oxygen bars with flavored air, what? 8) Balance Bands - I remember these, they were wrist bands you wore to improve your physical and inner balance ... yeah, right.  7) Crystal Music Healing - It was briefly believed that music was a form of medicine but it has been known to help plants grow a certain way.  But go see a doctor than waste the $15 to $20 bucks.  6) Xtreme Fuel Treatment - this brand is suppose to help improve your car engine but turns out it was doing nothing.  5) HD Vision Wrap-Around Sunglasses - I remember these infomercials and they were really low rent.  I think they were similar to the Blu-Blockers (?) and were just cheap sunglasses that easily broke. 4) BioDisc - I've never heard of this one, apparently it was a $560 glass disc that improves (and extends shelf life) of foods. 3) Water Activation Filter - it converts water into the necessary single-file alignment we need ... what?  2) Wattage 381 Audio Grade Duplex Receptacle Outlet (pictured) - This one is good, supposedly improves the sound quality of devices that are plugged into, now this is a good scam! 1) Magnet Slimming Patch - helps slim you down with the power of magnets!

Facts & Tips:

The number sign (#) is called an octothorpe.

"All you need is for one person to think you're cool, and you're in. Everyone else will be scared to question it." - David Arquette as Rob Geller in "Never Been Kissed."